How Fast Was…

How fast was the ostrich running when it hit the tree?

Me 20 Minutes…

Me 20 minutes into the work day them i feel like getting drunk.

People Who Are…

People who are unable to hear people who don't want to hear.

Reaction When A…

Girls:Reaction when a friend gets in a relationship omg, i'm so happy for you, Guys: is she blind?

School…

School we join crying. We leave crying.

Me On Every…

Me, on every single workday google how to sleep 8 hours in 4 hours.

I Still Watch…

I still watch cartoons and i don't care how old i am.

My Boss Arrived…

My boss arrived at work in a brand-new lamborghini. I said wow, that's an amazing car he replied: if you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, i'll get another one next year.

Even If You…

Even if you give me an assignment to complete it in 2 years, I will do it the night before the due date.

This Kid Should…

Math test. Bob has 36 candy bars. He eats 29. What does he have now? diabetes t.c. Hale bob has diabetes. Kalamazoo, one heading the kid should get a medal.

Claps For All…

Claps for all those people who sleep late at night and wake up too early in the morning.

The Man Who…

The man who made the whole world laugh without saying a single word.

Being Married Isn’t…

Jim. 31 years old being married isn't stressful at all.

At The Beginning…

At the beginning of relationship could i kiss your hand, ma'am? after year did you hear how great i farted?.

Don’t Drink And…

Don't drink and drive your dog won't understand why you never came home.

The Purest Love…

The purest love in the world is the one between grumpy dads and the pet they said they didn't want.

When Your Mom…

When your mom wakes you up at 6 am saying its 9 am.

Dear Girls, Instead…

Dear girls, instead of being a princess or an angel better you be a warrior and fighter to protect and defend yourself.

No Bond Is…

No bond is stronger than two girls that hate the same person!.

HaHaHaHa…

Kid takes of Wo from Women's bathroom and men attemps to enter it.