Last night i was sitting on the sofa watching tv when i heard my wives voice from the kitchen what would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb i said thank you, i'll have chicken please she replied you're having soup fat bastard i was talking to the cat.
My god what did you eat?.
When you eat a happy meal, but you're still not happy.
I may act like i'm okay but deep down inside i'm hungry again.
Do you ever eat so much you feel like you're going to die but then keep eating.
I'm going to place you on a brief hold.
When you wait for someone, so you can eat together, but they say that they already ate.
I eat cake because its somebody's birthday somewhere.
Crunchy potato bites. They're called tater motherfucking tots you uncultured swine.
Recipe: 2 cloves of garlic me: got it.
Me: idk why i'm not losing weight. Also me:.
The only bs i need in my life is breakfast and sex.
If you are trying to impress me with your truck, it better be a food truck.
When he tells you those three words every girl wants to hear I ordered pizza.
Him: tell me your wildest fantasy me: 14 hours of sleep and then a buffet breakfast.
Don't drink water after eating fish because drinking water may causes the fish to swim, and then you will feel gulugulu in your stomach.
My hobbies include eating and also thinking about the next time i will be eating.
Arby's: we have chicken sandwiches too. Wendy's: no one gives a shit stop.
How do you like your steak? rare
Make a cake, they said.... Put rockets on it, they said... It will be so cute they said...