Interviewer: so what have you planned for the future? me: lunch interviewer: no, like long term. Me: oh... Dinner.
When you're at work and everyone is in a good mood and energetic and you're just sitting there looking at them like:.
Only 7 hours, 55 min and 35 more years until i'm done with work.
Would you slap a coworker for 25,000? me: it's not about the money.
Shots fired
I need a vacation and by vacation i mean i need to move away and find a new job on a beach with beer.
When you're on your lunch break considering not going back.
When you have to pretend you're in a good mood at work: it's showtime.
Me on my way to annoy my coworkers instead of being productive:.
When you return from vacation try to remember how to do your job.
There should be an app where friends can put in their work schedule so you and your friends can all easily compare schedules, and you can actually do something with your life.
I was asked for suggestions on improving morale at work
Me: why do you have coffee every day? will you die without it? no... But you might.
When your coworkers ask you what you're doing after work i'm relaxing, i'm getting blackout drunk. And you're leaving me alone.
Interviewer: do you have any as a surgeon? Me:.
If you're already late. Take your time. You can't be late twice.
A humorous image of a whiteboard with a message about giving 100% at work
Every day i get to work with the best intentions and the right attitude... ...then idiots happen.
When you can't keep your eyes open at work, try this!!.
Trying to figure out what to wear when its hot af outside, but your office is an arctic tundra.