I need a job that isn't too jobby where i can do work that's not so worky.
Want to turn 40 into 400? put that 40 in your gas tank and take your stupid ass to work.
Me: why do you have coffee every day? will you die without it? no... But you might.
Architects... War creme engineers who cant do math.
When your coworkers ask you what you're doing after work i'm relaxing, i'm getting blackout drunk. And you're leaving me alone.
Me at work: i can't wait to get home and be super productive me when i get home:.
I gave my seat to a blind guy on the bus, great bro! and that's how i lost my job as a bus driver.
Me, on every single workday google how to sleep 8 hours in 4 hours.
I was asked for suggestions on improving morale at work
Stay here one month no internet no phone for 100k... Could you do it?.
New company word of the day: focus when you are annoyed with someone tell them to focus fuck off cause your stupid.
Job application these days we are looking for an 25 to 26 aged candidate with 30 years of experience.
Electrician wanted. Experience required, this time.
Work until your bank account looks like a phone number: 9.11 available balance.
Life of first son vs life of second son.
How i apologize to people at work after i've upset them... I'm sorry that your terrible behavior caused me to act out of character. You should work on that.
Told a coworker she swallowed too many kids. That's why everything out her mouth sounded childish! i meet with hr 9am tomorrow.
When someone at work asks me how i'm doing today: if i was a bird, id fly into a ceiling fan.
Shots fired
When you and your coworkers survive a rush at work.