You Might Be…

You might be cool, but you'll be never steal a cop car and flip off a red light camera in a grinch costume cool.

I Hate When…

I hate when i go out in public and other people are there too??? like what the fuck.

This Makes Me…

This makes me sick. I mean, how many muppets had to die, so you could decorate your car?.

Learn To Clap…

Learn to clap in others victory your time will come. Once I clapped in a funeral home, now what?.

And Now Ladies…

And now ladies and gentlemen, may i proudly present to you, the future.

Take Your Age…

Take your age. Add 5 years to it. That's your age in 5 years.

Point To Be…

Google why is why is not pronounced as "onety one" point to be noted.

These Are My…

These are my special goggles that allow me to see through all your bullshit...

Did You Kill…

Did you kill this man? No. A bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead which comes from ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed!

Missed 1 Day…

Missed day of work and my check was $200 less. Work extra day and only made $7.20 more.

Entrance Only Do…

Wtf? entrance only do not enter.

Last Christmas I…

Last christmas i gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transplant you died.

Dad: Unlock Your…

Dad: unlock your phone i need to see something me: ohh... But i forgot my fingerprint.

I Ate A…

I ate a kids' meal at mcdonald's this morning. His mom was furious.

If You See…

If you see me talking to myself, don't say nothing to me. I'm having a staff meeting.

Thinking Of You…

Thinking of you.

Some Kids Are…

Some kids are starting to notice they haven't seen their uncle since their dad has been home.

Toilet Only For…

Attention toilet only for disabled elderly pregnant children thank you for shopping with us!

True Story…

True story! in class: 2+2=4 homework:2+4+2=8 exam: michael has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early. Calculate the mass of the sun.

Business Plan…

Business plan: 1. Hold a sign that says free hugs 2. Whisper during the hug, its $50 to let go.