My mom buying me clothes that are literally sizes too big for me
Be like pineapple stand tall, wear a crown be sweet from inside.
Doctor: how many drinks do you have a week? me: i don't know. I'm an alcoholic, not a fucking accountant.
I love my girlfriend but she doesn't know that she's my girlfriend.
There are dudes just getting out of prison logging into myspace like: where everybody at?.
Just because i am up at the butt crack of dawn on a saturday does not mean i am ready to do things.
I just want to say don't give up!
When someone blocks you, while you are still typing!.
What kind of turtle is this.
Me: idk why i'm not losing weight. Also me:.
Youtube video youtube ad.
On my birthday the surprise i get vs the surprise i want.
When someone makes a serious comment on my funny post we don't do that here.
Tell me where is your partner, my story every morning.
This is an image of a world map with a continuous red line drawn over it
Ok fig, i ii talk to9i8, w8 me i'm weak in math, can we talk in english please.
We live in a generation of emotionally weak people everything has to be watered down because its offensive, including the truth.
Girls want a man who makes her laugh and feel safe in other words... A ninja clown!.
When you miss them: but then you remember what they did to you:.
Headache online: what's my name in your phone? Wifey.